Relationships!

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Here is the promised write-up on relationships. I’ve sat down several times to write it, even wrote five or six pages about it, but it still didn’t feel right. Hopefully I have it right this time.

Part 1: How do you FEEL about yourself?

Of all the issues regarding relationships, this is the most important. How do you feel about yourself? Are you confident, happy, and strong? Are you sad, miserable, and irritated? The first set of emotions allow you to attract and build successful relationships, while the latter set tends to push away and disintegrate them. So, let’s say you don’t feel like a superman or woman? What can you do about it? As bestselling author, T. Harv Ecker likes to say “Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world” or as I like to say “Your outer game is a reflection of your inner game”. Before we can fix the outer, we have to first fix the inner. So how can we do this? There are a few simple steps; imaging, affirmations, action.

Imaging

Everything starts with an idea or image. You want to be successful with other people? Well first you have to have the image of being successful with other people. Why is this important? In my other talks, I’ve said that over 90% of what you do is subconscious. For instance, you drive to work the same way every day, brush your teeth the same way every day, put your pants on the same way every day etc. so it’s important to bombard your subconscious with images you want to see in your life. How do you do that? Through imaging! Imaging is the process of consciously selecting an image and focusing on it until the image forms a concept in your subconscious mind. As the subconscious portion of your mind controls things like your beliefs, habits, and bodily functions, it will go to work on manifesting this new image in your life regardless of how realistic the image is or isn’t.

Remember this, your subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is fake! You could be the biggest nerd alive, but if you start feeding your subconscious images of you being a confident successful man, your life will begin to change. As your subconscious begins to receive and become affected by these new images, it will begin to bridge the gap between your current reality and the reality you are feeding it.

On a physical level, when you are creating and focusing on new images, you are creating new neural pathways and brain clusters in your brain associated with these new images. For those of you into the law of attraction, as these new brain cells and clusters begin to take root and form, they begin to vibrate and attract to you people, situations, circumstances, and events that are in resonance with that vibration. As far as I’ve been told, these clusters vibrate from the time they are created until the time you die, nonstop, twenty four hours a day attracting to you things that are in alignment with them. By forming concepts about what you want, it’s like putting your brain on twenty-four hour autopilot to bring them to you.

What most people are doing is using this beautiful process backwards. They’ve had some failures in the past and are continuously replaying these failures and negative experiences in their head. This just sets them up for more failures and negative experiences in the future. I don’t care where you are in life right now, or how low you might think you are. If you start imaging your life as being good, and start really feeling the feelings as if your perfect life were here now, your life WILL begin to change.

I say to really “feel the feelings” because the more feeling an image has, the faster it will become ingrained in your subconscious mind. For instance when Jack Canfield, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books, asks people at his seminars if they remember where they were when September 11th occurred, nearly everyone says yes. The event was so powerful it immediately became ingrained in their minds. One last thing about emotions. When you’re putting out feelings of happiness, love, success, and gratitude, you’re putting yourself in alignment to attract more happiness, love, success, and gratitude into your life. So put out the good! That way you can bring more of it to you.

EXERCISE:

So what do you do now? First, I want to you to form an image of your ideal relationship(s). This could be you having tons of friends, hanging out with your dream girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse, whatever your perfect relationship(s) would look like to you. Every day for 1-2 minutes a day, for thirty days straight, I want you to visualize your ideal image and feel how you would feel as if it were happening right now. It’s been said that it takes on average, thirty-three seconds for an image to form a concept in the subconscious portion of your mind. I ask for one to two minutes a day just to make sure it really gets in there. Also, I ask for thirty days straight as it’s been said it takes thirty days for a new habit to form. You’re building a new way of thinking and a new life for yourself so give yourself some time. Some changes you might see immediately, others might take longer. So be PATIENT!

At first you might feel silly or think this is not working but please give it time. Just like if you plant a seed in the ground it takes time to grow, so do some of your images and thoughts. So be patient with yourself.

You can also take this process one step further and write out “I am so happy and grateful…” and write out your ideal scene. Then you can either reread your scene to yourself every morning or just visualize in your mind the scene you wrote out (or both). As it’s getting pretty late, I am going to stop here for today. Tomorrow I will talk about affirmations to keep your internal self-talk positive and strong.

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